The Tate Way

it’s worked so far

$10 = dinner and the longest night and worse day of 2009 January 22, 2009

Spending $10 and getting a pint of beer, a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and a mug of cappuccino the size of my head was pretty awesome. And a good use of $10.

But you know what is not awesome? Staying up until 2am because of the aforementioned cappuccino. I mean I spent my time well by reading Twilight. But for some reason I woke up at 4am and could not go back to sleep.  That made for a really cranky and mean Dianna. That is a Dianna no one wants around.  If I didn’t work from home I’d would have been at my desk in my office crying, with my head on my desk.  I’ve done it before. And there was cussing involved.

I’ve been having a bunch of teachable moments and life lessons this week. It’s been that kind of week.  So here’s my lesson from that day: NEVER drink that much caffeine at 8pm. And just because my day was crappy didn’t mean it had to end that way.  And thanks to Tracee, Miko, Tisa, and Tashar I had a FAB night!

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Please don’t ask me that again November 25, 2008

I have this thing about random guys asking me what my thanksgiving plans are. I don’t know you and you don’t know me.  I don’t care about what you’re doing for Thanksgiving.  I only care about what I’m doing; making someone’s pets take embarrassing pictures (well I can’t take credit for this):
thanksgiving

So please observe the following rules:

Rule #1: If I wanted to talk to you while we were dancing I would have said something to you first.

Rule #2: Don’t ask me the same question 5 times.  I’m sorry you’re drunk and can’t remember what happened 2 seconds ago.

Rule #3: Stop telling me your mom’s birthday is the day after mine. It’s getting creepy.

Rule #4: If I don’t answer my cell phone after five calls, don’t leave me a message. Just STOP CALLING ME! I gave you my number so I could walk away without you insulting me. Not because I liked you.

 

Funny Post!

I know when you (yes, you!) come over to The Tate Way you’re looking for the funny. It’s the hallmark around these parts; it’s how I got started.  Well hold onto your pants, I’m about to give you some good old fashion “I was at a club and this idiot said this to me”.

On Saturday night I was out with my awesomely awesome bff TKG and her sister (and sister’s friends). We were having a great time listening to the DJ and dancing amongst ourselves.  Then it happened: a random dude in ugly shoes, an ill-fitting outfit, and a BAD hat starts circling around us.  Hello Mr. Ugly Shoes, we DO NOT WANT want what you’re selling. Do. Not. Want.

I managed to hide for awhile as he danced his way around the crowd and eyed innocent women.  Then he grabbed my hand. I looked at him a little confused (surely you don’t know me, why are you touching me) wondering what he was going to say. All he wanted was to dance, or so I thought.

As we are dancing I see him staring at me (note: I look at the ceiling or floor when I dance) every time I look in his general direction.  Here’s the conversation that ensues:

Me: “What?”

Him: “What??”

Me: “You were looking at me”

Him: “I wasn’t looking at you. You were looking at me.”

Me: “I looked up and you were looking at me (STUPID!).”

Him: “Oh, I wanted to say you look nice.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Dancing contiunes. Well I’m kind of just standing there doing the two step and looking at TKG; begging for help with my eyes. So what I’m doing isn’t technically dancing. Then I see a guy ask TKG to dance and she says no.

Him: “See a Black woman don’t even want to dance with a Black man.”

Me: “So you’re saying that she’s not dancing with him because he’s black.”

Him: “Yes. If we were in Atlanta or Miami that would have never had happened.”

Me: “So if this were Atlanta or Miami she wouldn’t have said no?”

Him: “That’s not the point.”

Me: “What do you mean that’s not the point? You said she wouldn’t dance with him becasue he was Black.”

(Then the madness really takes over)

Him: “Ya’ll California women think ya’ll special. Ya’ll ain’t special. Most of ya’ll can’t even cook a good meal.”

That’s the part where I walked away. Granted, I don’t cook that often, but dude don’t be stupid and insult me and expect me to keep dancing with you.  You remind me of K-Ci (see photo below) and not in a good way.

kci

“The funny” is brought to you courtesy of: Some people are just THAT stupid & I’m doing YOU a favor.

 

The Tate Manifesto:CRAZY NEED NOT APPLY! March 10, 2008

I will never, EVER forget why I changed my cell phone number when confronted with the reason why I did it.

Confronted as in he’s standing right in front of me won’t leave me alone.

I’m no longer accepting applications! Please leave me alone. I’m working on my cat lady persona. That takes a lot of energy. Energy I can not waste hiding from you.

 

The long and awful road (aka PMS) January 14, 2008

The other day I almost did something really rash. I was ready to throw ALL my secrets out on the table because it felt like the right thing to do. Then I realized what day it was and that I needed to pull back. My PMS had struck again.

I don’t know about you, but PMS to me is a crazy (outside my normal crazy) emotional time for me. Nothing more, nothing less. I have to be really careful about what I say and do, because at any moment I could be divulging some deep dark secret of mine. Or I could be watching ‘The Biggest Loser’ and burst out into tears. Not a normal reaction, I know, but it is a PMS reaction.

On my drive to pick up my son I was on the verge of tears for a reason really unclear to me. It was my PMS reaction to the day. Yesterday I almost said something I would have never been able to take back. Could have been a good thing but it could have been ALL bad. But after a long chain of text messages to a friend who was not hormonally challenged, I was able to put myself back in check.

So, if you happen to talk to or see me this week, please be kind. I’m in a PMS state of mind.

 

M.A.T.C.H dot C.O.M July 30, 2007

Filed under: things I should never do again — Dianna @ 7:06 am


I won’t be embarrassed at all, I’m just going to come out and say it. YES, I signed up for match.com. YES, I decided I was tired of sitting at home wishing I had a cat to converse with. YES, I did it. You see the commercials. You wonder. And then there’s Jay Manuel from ANTM telling you it’s okay to look. I mean, who doesn’t listen to Jay Manuel!?!? So, I tried it. I tried it because I’m a 27 year old going through a divorce. I tried it because dating after not dating for 4 years is pretty scary. So, match was my way of jumping over the “back in the dating game” hurtle. And it worked, like a charm – not saying that I’m out there dating it up. And I also won’t say it made me realize how AWESOME I am (lol), my friends and family remind me of that everyday, in their own special ways. But it made me realize I have nothing to be scared of.

Plus now I have lots of funny stories (and actually some good ones) to share with my friends. But there was that guy from the gas station, that was my own damn fault, I can’t blame match.com for that one.