The Tate Way

it’s worked so far

Life Lesson # 5223 January 30, 2009

Filed under: dating,handbook,random — Dianna @ 7:23 pm

Have expectations.

Sounds simple? Yes to a normal person.  Dianna, as we all know, is not normal. I’m a little weird. And darn proud of it! But I digress.

For a (very) long time I’ve told myself that if I have no expectations I have no way of getting hurt. Well, that logic is VERY flawed. When I would tell myself not to have expectations, I would subconsciously have expectations. And if plans fell through, if I didn’t get a call, if anything outside of my “secret” expectations happened I’d be disappointed.  And I would be really annoyed at myself for caring. The point was that I really didn’t want to care (at least on the surface). But inside I would be annoyed and anxious. I’m prone to anxiety and try at all costs to make sure I’m not anxious. But having”secret” expectations does not serve that purpose well.

So, onto life lesson # 5223. I will have expectations about EVERYTHING I am involved in, touch, am a part of, has my name on it, etc.   I will have expectations about the small things in my life.  I will expect certain things about the big things my life. Starting today – because waiting for tomorrow will break rule number 18 –  I will not be afraid to have expectations for all the “stuff” in my life. What happens will happen, no matter what I expect or don’t expect.  But if I want it, I need to put it out there. And my expectations, when voiced, can have dramatic changes on things; I’ve seen it happen.

And just to show I’m serious about this, here is a list o’ expectations to get me started:

  1. My child will sleep in the bed by himself every night. Even if that means I have to sleep on the couch.
  2. I will make myself do what I need to do, no matter how crappy I think things will turn out.
  3. If you can’t figure out how to talk to me or deal with me, then just ask me. I’m a great resource.

And as a side note, check out this link.  So far I’ve read “Facing Your Giants”. It was one of my many reality checks I’ve been having over the last 4 or 5 months.  I’m getting better everyday people! But, I’m pretty awesome to begin with. 🙂


The Handbook, Part 2 September 3, 2007

Filed under: handbook — Dianna @ 1:14 am

As we all know guys are not the only ones who need help when it comes to dating. Sometimes us ladies could use some lessons.

The Handbook
Volume 2: How Not to Date, Ladies Edition

Chapter 1: Be a Lady at All Times
Are you really wearing that?

Chapter 2: Someone Has to Be in Charge
Why “whatever you like” is never a sufficient answer.

Chapter 3: Your Date Shouldn’t be Afraid of You
Being an independent woman isn’t the same thing as being a bully.

Chapter 4: Your cue that the date is over
“Yeah, I was just telling my girlfriend and/or wife…”

Chapter 5: Do Not Break Your Own Rules
If you can’t follow them, he never will.

If you missed the first installment of The Handbook, take a look at it here.


The Handbook August 2, 2007

Filed under: handbook — Dianna @ 2:47 am

As suggested by Angela (shout out to all my folks in Harlem) I’ve formulated the table of contents for the handbook that might be necessary for some of the men we have had the misfortune to date.

Volume I: How Not to Date
Chapter 1: You Want to do What?!
Appropriate and Inappropriate things to say and do

Chapter 2: Really?
Stop talking WAY before you sound like a d-bag.

Chapter 3: Wait, who’s paying for this little excursion tonight?
How to get Her to Respect You after She finds out You Do Not Have a Job.

Chapter 4: How do I say this nicely?

When to cut your loses and take her home.

Chapter 5: Dude, you just threw-up on me.
Don’t go for the wasted look, it doesn’t look good on you.

…more to come…