The Tate Way

it’s worked so far

Looking February 1, 2009

Filed under: all about me!,daily writing,dating,love,random,single — Dianna @ 11:33 pm

I find myself writing more and more posts about myself and my internal struggle to find whatever it is I am looking for.

Part of me wants to take my friend Jean’s advice and change the way I think. Check out her comment on this blog post.  I do plan on reading both of those books as part of  my quest to finding “it”.

But I still have the nagging part of me that feels like I NEED to change/do something.  There are 5 boxes that I put my life in: my mother box, my finances box, my career box, my friend/family box, and my love/relationship box.  At the very moment, I’m really only happy with the “mother” and “friendship” boxes.

I never really planned on becoming a mom when I did. Don’t get me wrong, in my heart I always felt like I was born to be a mom. My son makes me infinitely happy. All I have to do is look at him and he makes the worse possible day melt away. But I have my struggles with becoming a mom at 24 and becoming a single mom sometime after that. And seeing him live 2 separate lives in two different households breaks my heart a little. But, overall I’m rocking the “mother box”.

My friends and family are incredibly awesome.  They support me in WHATEVER I do. I love each and everyone of them and I try to make sure that my love is reflected in the things I say and do. I’ll give my “friend/family box” at solid A+.

Now come the “boxes” that I really feel like I need to do something about…

My finances box is a constant jab in my side. No joke. I’m in the process of reteaching myself how to not impulse buy. And I’m paying off my “retail therapy”  debts. Not fun but way necessary. So, there is definite progress here; but until it all goes away and my credit repairs itself, I will not be happy.

My career box is the one I struggle with the most. I’ve done a lot of different things and none of them have made me even 80% happy to be doing them. So, my quest continues. And I’m trying to figure out if grad school is a next logical step (although I started applying last year, I got side tracked by work).

And finally onto the “love/relationship” box. This blog stated as my observations on my dating life. I got some funny stories out of my experiences, but I got tired. Tired of looking. Tired of hoping. Just tired. Now I’m at the point where I’m all kinds of confused, but not about what I want. But about how to let go of my past. It’s been a long road and I’m a better/stronger person for it. But as much as I want to let go of everything, it comes back in tiny little doses. And I stop dead in my tracks and pull back and hide. It takes a lot for me not to do that. It takes a lot to not give up.  But I still have hope. Lots of it.

….I suppose I should have written this in my journal. But it is what it is. I share so that maybe one person can find the words that I type helpful.

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When random runs amuck March 13, 2008

Filed under: daily writing,random,stuff i like — Dianna @ 9:58 pm

+Lupe Fiasco is NOT the writer of The Lupe Fiasco Show. But he gave a nice little shout out to the blog at the end of “Fighters” – my FAVORITE song on “The Cool” album.

+ If you put the word poop at the end of a word, phrase, or sentence it just makes everything funnier. Ask Tashar.

+ Daylight savings is the BEST. I got to play soccer with Tashar when we got home today. He can bend it like Beckham.

+ I can listen to the “Thriller” album ANY DAY, ALL DAY. The original, not the 25th anniversary edition.

+ The Deathly Hallows will be two movies, instead of just one. Good idea, but I question the release date of the second movie. Check out word/play for the scoop.

+ Pregnant ladies are super cool. And forget things. A lot. Did you see the last episode of “According to Jim”? Check out “Pregnancy Brain“.
+ You know you’re bad (bad = good) when you can find a new job in a week and act like that’s normal.

+ If anyone reading this has won/is winning/or will win the lottery I get 45% of the take. Sorry, you shouldn’t have read it.

+ Sometimes I’ll be dancing and don’t even realize that I’m doing it. Makes for good conversation starters with strangers. Especially the cute male ones.

+ I want this. And this.

+ Treasure Chest Vintage is my favorite eBay store these days. I bought a pair of the cutest vintage black riding boots – all leather – for under $20 (and that included shipping).

+ When Tashar and I are avoiding bedtime we take the most interesting pictures:dscn1034.jpgdscn1033.jpgTashar the JokerTashar’s BIG Foot

Isn’t random great!

 

Daily Writing: 11-25-07 January 30, 2008

Filed under: daily writing — Dianna @ 10:56 pm

8:21. 8:21. 8:21. Stuck on this plane.

8:22. Listening to Lupe Fiasco (taking too long to spell out fiasco, I blame spell check for my horrible spelling).

8:23. It really shouldn’t take that long to type out a sentence.

8:23. Okay that’s better. Somehow being on a plane makes me have this crazy feeling of excitement and dread.

8:24. (checking over what I just typed) Excitement because I want to get to where I’m going. I love to travel. Even my bi-monthly trips to Reno, NV and Chico, CA are a little exciting. An escape from the scheduled life that I live.

8:25. That’s much better, more than one sentence in one minute. I’m sure I could rattle off more sentences if I didn’t keep spelling things wrong and actually knew how to type.

8:26. How many times can I accidentally keep hitting ‘w’ instead of ‘e’?

8:27. Futurama is playing on the overhead t.v. on the plane and Lenny Kravitz is singing in my ear.

8:28. I never knew how quickly time flew by when you are trying to maximize every minute of it. And this tray table and the reclined seat in front of me is not helping my typing.

8:29. Typing on a wobbly computer is not the easiest thing. Especially when the dude in front of me is jamming out to his music after having 3 drinks.

8:30. Another hour on the plane. Then off to pick up my car, then my child. How I miss him and his smiling face.

8:31. He would have loved to ride the airplane AND watch Transformers at the same time.

8:41. (the dude in front of me just got another drink…dude, slow down)

8:43. Finally I get something else to drink. Water has never tasted so good. Except at 2 in the morning out of the bathroom faucet. It is so sweet.

8:44. Could life be any sweeter?