The Tate Way

it’s worked so far

Life Lesson # 5223 January 30, 2009

Filed under: dating,handbook,random — Dianna @ 7:23 pm

Have expectations.

Sounds simple? Yes to a normal person.  Dianna, as we all know, is not normal. I’m a little weird. And darn proud of it! But I digress.

For a (very) long time I’ve told myself that if I have no expectations I have no way of getting hurt. Well, that logic is VERY flawed. When I would tell myself not to have expectations, I would subconsciously have expectations. And if plans fell through, if I didn’t get a call, if anything outside of my “secret” expectations happened I’d be disappointed.  And I would be really annoyed at myself for caring. The point was that I really didn’t want to care (at least on the surface). But inside I would be annoyed and anxious. I’m prone to anxiety and try at all costs to make sure I’m not anxious. But having”secret” expectations does not serve that purpose well.

So, onto life lesson # 5223. I will have expectations about EVERYTHING I am involved in, touch, am a part of, has my name on it, etc.   I will have expectations about the small things in my life.  I will expect certain things about the big things my life. Starting today – because waiting for tomorrow will break rule number 18 –  I will not be afraid to have expectations for all the “stuff” in my life. What happens will happen, no matter what I expect or don’t expect.  But if I want it, I need to put it out there. And my expectations, when voiced, can have dramatic changes on things; I’ve seen it happen.

And just to show I’m serious about this, here is a list o’ expectations to get me started:

  1. My child will sleep in the bed by himself every night. Even if that means I have to sleep on the couch.
  2. I will make myself do what I need to do, no matter how crappy I think things will turn out.
  3. If you can’t figure out how to talk to me or deal with me, then just ask me. I’m a great resource.

And as a side note, check out this link.  So far I’ve read “Facing Your Giants”. It was one of my many reality checks I’ve been having over the last 4 or 5 months.  I’m getting better everyday people! But, I’m pretty awesome to begin with. 🙂

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2 Responses to “Life Lesson # 5223”

  1. Jean Says:

    I think you’re mixing up expectations with standards. Having standards for behavior you will accept and not accept is good. But in terms of experiences, I have to say I completely disagree. I have found the most exciting, rewarding, defining moments of my life have been when I enter the experience/relationships/event without any expectations except that I’ll accept whatever happens, then choose what to do next.

  2. Dianna Says:

    good point!


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